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after all that’s said and done…

i still miss him =(

Published in: on September 13, 2010 at 9:38 pm  Leave a Comment  

despise me

i cried alone tonight…yet again…

again because i’ve had this type of cry before…
but it’s been a while.
a cry of a tired soul.
a cry of a helpless someone who’s bone dry of happy thoughts.

but i thought i could share it.
in telling the same story in a whole lot of different versions.
but in the end, the gist is still the same.
and even everybody’s tired of listening to it.

and i thought somebody could save me from the darkness.
a darkness that’s beginning to engulf even me.
but nobody even understands enough to lend a helping hand.
they only watched from the sides.

and so it falls,these silent tears.
tears of anguish, of pain and anger.
for being too weak,in mind and in body.
for not being able to stand up or lean against the wall.

therefore,here i lie…open, unprotected.
i loathe myself.

Published in: on August 13, 2010 at 5:36 pm  Leave a Comment  

planning ahead

sometimes you just cant help but make plans. example, like when you’re overly exited that someone special to you is near, it is most logical to have a rough plan to meet up, or maybe you subconsciously make plans to meet up. you realize that the person would probably be busy. but then again the person would eventually need a break or at least need to eat. so you make sure that you cancel your plans and made sure your whole day’s available just in case an opportunity arrives where you can steal the person for half an hour or so. i mean, you wouldn’t want to bother the person or be in the way, so you are open to any possibility, anywhere at any time. all you need is just to have a heads up of what the person will be doing or where the person will be.

so is it so hard for that particular person to just ask politely of plans for the day? rather than saying “i don’t know cause…thing is i’m following them”, couldn’t the person just ask where might they head to or at least something? i mean,again, you are open to any possibility, anytime anywhere…but no…countless times, again and again, you’ve hoped and anticipated…you kept wait…to no avail. just because it’s hard for the person to just ask a simple question… questions like “so where to next?” or “so where are we heading?”, or better yet “so what’s the plan?”

and now? now i’m tired of being the one who’s overly exited an anticipating over any situations, be it major ones or trivials, because in the end, even if you’ve done all you can to make it work, nothing will happen if there’s no cooperation. makes me think that probably the other person is not as exited to see you. it takes 2 to tango…now i understands what it means

Published in: on July 23, 2010 at 11:09 pm  Leave a Comment