a step towards maturity

tonight was one of the most enlightening nights i’ve ever had.went to pick up friends at a club. apparently they were too wasted to even do anything.picked up jamie because i dont think i can handle 2 drunk girls alone.arrived quite late toward the end. went in to search for them…

when i found them, they were already long gone…in a manner of speaking. so i hanged out for a while, listening to the music and watching the surroundings. i’ve done my share of these, i’d have to admit. but i’ve never seen this side of view before.before, i was usually on the other side, along with everyone else who goes there. what i saw made me realize how low i was to have been in that position. to some it might not be degrading…but the 1st thing that crossed my mind was how dignity can be lost just like that.

i came down early…i couldn’t stand the heat and to watch my friends in such a way just reminded me more of how i was…so i waited till they came down, clinging to the “guy of the night”, not wanting to go back. i was pissed, more to myself than at them. was i like that? oh, and the headache of trying to reason out with someone who is at an unreasonable state was just devastating.

another mishap happened involving my past that i do not want to get into detail…but i was proud at how i handled it. i was rational and dealt with it maturely, with respect and dignity still intact. i found out (a 2nd enlightenment) that it is hard to do the right thing, to be the adult. that being childish might be tempting and satisfying but it only makes me stoop to their level. i couldn’t stay there a while longer. i took the contacts of the guys, made him promise to send my friends at a certain time or i’ll call the police…and left. i took the responsibility, so i should at least look through it.

however i am glad i went out… at least it made me realize that certain things are just not worth it. i might have a very long way to go still… but currently, i feel like i’ve made a huge leap. it’s true that you’ll never understand it until you’ve seen it… life taught me a few lessons tonight and i am grateful to have been there to receive 🙂

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Published in: on May 21, 2009 at 7:51 am  Leave a Comment  

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