a load off my mind

i don’t know how to say this…i don’t even know where to start. but i have to let it out coz i just can’t keep it in any longer or i’ll combust.

i don’t wanna be too up front because when i am then i’m pushing too hard. but at the same time i feel like it’s not enough. like it could be better, like something else could be done…

but whenever it’s brought up, i’m just reiterating. can’t anyone see that the reason why i do it is because i’m worried. i am worried that things will not go as planned. or will not go in my favour. or that things will not go anywhere for that matter.

i mean, it’s not easy. it’s literally a life changing event. there’s a whole lot to think about. a whole lot to consider. and to get there is not a short journey. what if i’ll never get there? what if we’ll never get there?

there’s a saying take one step at a time, don’t rush yourself…however sometimes i feel like we’re not moving, as if we’re stagnant. i get the take it slow part, but it doesn’t mean you dont even make a move. to get somewhere far, you need to make an early start.

there are things that i feel that i cant even put to words… i feel asphyxiated, like everything in my life has to be compromized. like it’s a whirlpool and everything’s gonna go down in the end. argh~!!!

i know i’m babbling trash and a lot don’t really make sense…but i’m at a point where nothing make sense… i’m just being impatient

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Published in: on December 8, 2009 at 12:00 am  Leave a Comment  

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